Monthly Archives: December 2016

SwatchFest 2016: O-My Jewels

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Went to Sonic today to get something to drink and hubby asks for an Oreo Blast with an Oreo stuffing flavor funnel. Ummmmm, that’s not a drink. I meant Coke, a Dr Pepper. Gravy. You know, actual drinks.  Not ice cream. Ugh. He’s so gross.

Hey, it’s my last blog post for 2016.  What a year, right?  So many polishes, EVERYWHERE.  Why do you have like 37 shades of the same green?  Can we watch a show anytime between now and 29 years later?

Says my husband, the party pooper.

Okay, I’ll admit I’ve been a little out of control.  I’m surprised the nail room (aka, guest bedroom where no guest will ever go) hasn’t fallen through it’s own floor under the weight of all the polish.  And poor hubby, having to watch tv all by himself.  How we’ve managed to stay married, I’ll never know.

But this blog, guys!  I love it.  I love showing you pretty things.  My nail art could use a little boost (Baby Jesus, if you’re listening), but I do think I make good swatches (for the most part) and my OCD-like cuticle lines flat out impress me sometimes.  Quick! someone grab me my horn so I can toot it.  K, thanks.

So to end this whirlwind of a year, I was sent two gorgeous polishes from Sophia with O-My Jewels to share with you.  It was a surprise on which two I’d get, but I’m thinking I hit the jackpot.  Take a look:

First up is Plum Pretty:

All you purple lovers just died.  You did.  How gorgeous is this?!  It’s vampy yet elegant at the same time.  Like me.

Just kidding.  I lay on couches.  And not in a sexy way.

Under the lamps:

Erlack!  I love shimmery polishes like this.  It’s a gorgeous deep plum with this striking purple shimmer in it; two coats of fabulousness.  What more could you ask for?  (Besides Leonardo handing you a Starbucks, but we’ve been through this before.)

One of my absolute favorite polishes from 2016 is this one right here.  It’s called Sunshine:

No, it is not just a white like I thought.  It is straight up magical unicorns.  And complete and utter ridiculous.  Ugh.  So unique and stunning in all lighting situations, which means you don’t have to carry around your LED lamp like a crazy person.  Nope, you can reserve that crazy for when it really matters – like karate chopping someone’s hand when they try to steal your Funyuns.  Just ask my husband how that turned out – or read this if you’d rather.  Spoiler alert:  it did not end well.

So in regular lighting, it’s a white/silvery foil finish with a flash of gold.  Covers easily in about three coats.  Then under the lamps, it gets insane:

Slight nail line appearance, but the shift leaves me speechless.  There may be a super unattractive drooling scenario in progress over here.  I’m trying very hard to keep my mouth attached to my face right now.  I’m quite the catch, you might say.

Macro just for funsies:

Do you see what I mean?!  How are you not buying this polish?  Get on it.  Go.  (Cuz I am the boss of you.)

And then I did nail art:

It is not the best.  As usual, I took it too far with the purple gems.  However, the two polishes look fabulous together, don’t they?  A perfect combo.  Like me and you, best friends forever whether you like it or not.

The round up:


Okay, Plum Pretty sells for $7.25 and Sunshine is $8 cuz IT IS A PRINCESS and you will treat it as such.  Now, the listing for Sunshine says it’s out of stock, and I guess technically it is – for a minute.  Sophia is waiting on a shipment of supplies and then she’ll be back at it, cranking out sunshine (literally!)  and making the world a better place.  So you can still add it to your cart, purchase it and whatnot.  It’ll just take slightly longer for shipping.  NO BIG DEAL.  It’s worth the wait, I promise.

While you are there, browse the rest of her pretties.  And then go on a clicking spree.  It’s the last day of the year and totally justified.  Don’t ask how; that’s the way science works so we accept it and move on.

Your lifeline .. er .. I mean link to the site can be found here.  Then sit back, relax and know you did the right thing.

Happy New Year, lovies!  See ya in 2017.

SwatchFest 2016: GLH Nail Lacquer 

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Things I Learned at Christmas:

It IS possible to eat your weight in mashed potatoes AND find room to add a layer of Chex Mix and your sister’s chocolate fudge on top.  I look eight months pregnant now, but that is beside the point.

My boy cat jumped up on my mother-in-law’s lap and let her pet him until he rubbed cat hair all over her sweater in ecstasy.  So now she can’t come over anymore.  Hmmmpf.

And even though my mother broke the rules of the gift exchange by going over the agreed-upon budget for my sister’s present, I have decided to still love her.  Aside from my endearing laziness and how adorable I look in constant pajamas, it is my heart of gold that Jesus loves best.

Tell me, what did you guys learn at Christmas?  Did your family make it quite apparent your Dirty Santa gift contribution of two pairs of sherpa-lined sock boots was the least appreciated item they’ve ever seen, then ME TOO!  I’ll just be honest:  after the mashed potatoes, things went downhill a little.

Good thing there’s nail polish!  I received a lovely swatch pack from Gina with GLH Nail Lacquer to review for you all.  I’ve got 6 out of the 11 available for sale.  So feast your eyes!

First up is Pumpkin Spice:

ORANGE, people!  I was most excited about this one  cuz orange = happiness to me.  And then Gina had to go add shimmer to it, and now I can’t concentrate.  Isn’t it so pretty?  And it was two luscious coats of perfection.  What else could be more exciting?  Well, maybe Leonardo DiCaprio handing you a Starbucks.  But after that, not much!

Next is King Isaac:

This one is a lovely blue with tones of purple and that notorious speech-stealing shimmer.  Gah!  So far, I’m beyond impressed with these polishes.  And we just got started!  Hold onto your britches then or there might be some breezes near your lady parts by the time this blog is done.

Then I did some nail art.  Kinda.

I mean, it’s about as simple as you can get right?  A little negative space using line stencils.  I like it though.  I wore it to the Oklahoma City Thunders game and if it’s the reason they won, I wouldn’t be surprised.  It’s quite possible Russell Westbrook had something to do with it, but it’s not an exact science, so …

Now we have Sand Castle:

And then of course I got a cuticle situation right in the middle of swatches, so I’m well aware this is not the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen.  The polish is great though (duh).  A super creamy, two coat beige.  NOT STREAKY which is a dang near miracle with colors like this.  But we gotta move on now cuz my swatch is giving me the hives.

More nail art:

This is my attempt at trying to appreciate winter.  It has failed.  I wish I could enjoy the cold weather, early nights and snow, cuz I’d love to be one of those cute girls wearing Uggs and holding a latte.  But instead, I’m speed walking across the parking lot saying shit shit shit all the way to my office door.  Cold AND classy.  I’m not even sorry for it.

Here’s Queen Liz:

Can you even?  NO. YOU. CANNOT.  What a glorious color!  An antique-y gold with a raspberry shimmer running through it.  If I knew it wouldn’t taste like a science experiment, I’d be licking this off my fingers STAT.  Gracious.

The nail art:

Cute little guys!  I’m afraid, however, I haven’t been especially clever with my nail art this round.  I might’ve forgotten how to do it properly.  Or someone has stolen my mojo.  Let’s hope it finds its way home soon, though.  It’s been awhile since I’ve created anything, and I kinda miss it.

Next is Tutu Pink:

Now THIS is a winter polish!  Gimme a hot pink over an icy blue any day.  It’s a bit of cheer to beat the blahs, I think.  I’m seriously over winter, even though it was around 70 degrees on Christmas and we’ve been pretty lucky so far.  I just want to leave work when it’s daylight.  And to not wear sweaters that weigh 80 pounds.  Ugh.

But about this polish.  Again, two coats.  Do you notice a trend here?  TWO COATS.  They’ve all been perfect little dreamboats.  No streaks, self leveling, creamy smooth, vibrant color.  Only a 17 year vacation could make that better.

Cute nail art:

Okay, still not clever, but I like these bows.  I used the Can’t Wait for Xmas 01 plate from Lina Nail Art Supplies, and it’s one of my favorite purchases this year.  I own all the plates from Lina cuz I don’t know how to shop like a normal person.  Must own all the things.  It’s a sickness, I know.

Lastly, here’s Kiss of Red:

Very much your classic red crème.  It’s glorious and feisty and scratch-your-eyes-out sexy.  I’m not a huge wearer of basic reds, but you gotta have a good one in your collection.  This be it, just so you know.

Supposed to be nail art:

OMG, you guys.  Don’t even ask what this is.  Started out as a cute plaid design, then the stamping demons got me.  Black snowflakes?!  Of course, what else could I possibly do instead?  I swear, someone needs to come take away my stamping plates.  I mean, I’ll karate chop your hands off over it, but still.

The round up:


Wanna get some then?  Here’s the deets:

COST: $10 each

WHERE:  Click here

INSTAGRAM:  GLH Nail Lacquer, click here.  If you want more of me (and you do), click here.

STARBUCKS:  Click here. You know, in case you wanna buy a gift card on the off chance you know a person who might need a latte real real bad right now.  I’m not saying it’s me, but it’s probably me.

Later, loves!

Tonic Polish: Holiday 2016 Collection 

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For real, would it kill my cat just one time to let me kiss him on the mouth without him wiggling away from me in disgust?  I mean, the more he doesn’t want me to do it, the more I have to. It’s the basic law of the universe. Cuz I can hold my breath for 17 seconds just fine until I’m told I have to hold my breath for 17 seconds.

Even the fact I know my boy cat sticks his face in my girl cat’s butt doesn’t seem to be much of a deterrent on my part. I’m not sure what that says about me as a person. Either I’m the most dedicated cat lover that ever lived, or something is clearly wrong with my brain. Cuz this girl wouldn’t dare eat a deformed M&M since those are clearly the poison ones. But cat mouth that just spent a couple minutes hovering around a butthole? Not fazed.

Okay, it’s definitely my brain. I have no idea how I’m still married.

I have some lovely holiday polishes from Tonic Polish to share with you today. This collection was released once already, but sold out in roughly an hour, so I had to postpone this blog until the next release. Which is happening tomorrow, so get your shopping hands ready.  And prepare your eyes:

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Now you understand how these things disappeared so fast. They are some of the prettiest polishes you will ever own, I swear.  My swatches, I’m afraid, don’t even do them justice. But here’s my best effort anyway.  Lesssss go!

First up is Magnetic Midnight:

Do you see that camera freak-out?  So much holo and shift and nail polish goodness, my camera just like shrugged it’s shoulders and went back to bed.  But then I dragged its ass back out and said WE ARE NOT QUITTERS.  So here’s more pics:

This one is a medium cobalt blue that shifts from purple, red and even gold at the furthest angle with scattered holo and tiny silver micro glitters.  Formula was thicker than expected cuz all these polishes looked so delicate and ladylike to me.  But NO.  They were all two coaters and perfect for women on the go – like me.

Just kidding.  I like pajamas.

Next up is the fan favorite, Dragon Tears:

If someone was to ask me which one is a must have cuz they were unable to get the whole collection, Dragon Tears would be it.  My brain literally stopped holding my mouth closed on this one.  There might’ve been a drooling-type scenario in progress as well.  It’s THAT gorgeous.  I mean, you’ll look like a melting puddle of goo.  But your nails will be spectacular.

Lindsey used the shiftiest pigment she could find – and the result is mindblowing.  We’ve got it shifting through the entire rainbow, from green to blue, purple, red, peach, gold and back to green again.  Add more scattered holo and micro glitter, and you might as well just lay down and faint for a second.

And this macro:

You done died.  You did.

Next is Alchemy:

For me, this one competes really well with Dragon Tears cuz it’s got all my warm, cozy colors in it.  It looks like a campfire, does it not?  (It does.  I checked.)

Alright.  Now it’s just getting ridiculous.  How fabulous does this look under the lamps?  This is a red, pink, orange, and gold shifting multichrome with a blue/purple shadow.  More holo.  More glitter.  More fainting.

Someone, bring me my smelling salts, stat.

This macro makes me sleepy, but in a good way:

Holy moly, she’s pretty!

For the most unique of the bunch, I give you Incandescent:

I’m looking at you like, Right?! Right?!  And you are nodding your head in agreement because we’ve all been brainwashed at this point.  There’s no walking away now.  This collection has sucked you in and all six are going in the basket!

How often do you hear the phrase metallic ballet pink with peach and icy lemon yellow shift?  Damn near never.  That’s why I love it so.  It’s truly magical, and maybe this one is my favorite now.  I dunno.  My brain hurts from too much decisioning.  

Now we have Luminescent:

Like gossamer wings.  Angel dust.  It’s ethereal and ghostly and all things beautiful.  I’d tell you you want this, but you already know.

This one is a delicate metallic aquamarine with a soft shift of pale blue and lilac purple.  It’s seriously stunning.  I’m about to lose all the words and make groan-y throat noises instead.  Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnn.  See?

Last one is Stars at Twilight:

This one is a little different from the others as it’s creme based, but OH MY.  I can’t deal with all this pretty.  Seriously.  Someone is just gonna have to put the mashed potatoes in my mouth for me cuz I’ve done floated out of my own body.  It’ll make for an interesting Christmas dinner to say the least.  Ugh.  

This one is a dark denim blue cream with red, pink, and gold shifting shimmer with silver holo micro glitter.  No holo this time, but every bit of gorgeous, clearly.

If you’re not properly convinced, here’s a macro to make you rethink your life choices:

And my job here is done.

The round up:

This entire collection – plus several other of Tonic’s other lovely polishes – will be available tomorrow on the Color4Nails website.  I’m not even joking when I say to set a dang alarm.  Store opens at 11am PST (2pm EST) and you don’t want to miss it.

HOWEVER.  In case you somehow forget to rearrange your priorities (Tonic Polish up top, people!), Lindsey will be restocking them in her Etsy shop sometime after the new year.  So join her Facebook group (click here) and then watch her Etsy shop (click here) and be in the know.  You won’t regret, you’ll probably even thank me for it – and in that case, I like Starbucks and Visa gift cards.

Hope everyone is having happy holidays!  I want to say thank you to all my friends who continue to read this ridiculous blog ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM.  You make my heart feel good.

Later, loves!

Flirtin’: Ice Kissed Collection 

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If someone could just go ahead and make all Christmas gifts come in perfect square boxes, that’d be great.  Cuz I don’t know about you, but I have about 18 poorly wrapped gifts, sitting in their lumpy and patchworked glory, under my Christmas tree right now.  It for real looks like I wrapped them with my feet, which hurts my heart a little since I actually take pride in my wrapping skills.  It’s the one time where I can let my nerd flag fly without fear of judgement, as everyone knows the one who has the gift of wrapping rules the universe.  Or something along that line.

So basically, I’ve got a chronic case of the hives now until these presents go away.  But at least my nails are done! (Which is my excuse for a lot of things, lately.  But in my opinion, a good manicure offsets even the worst offenses – just try noticing the fact I’m eating bean dip straight out of the can when I’ve got glittery snowflakes on mah nails.  It’s nigh on impossible.)

Speaking of nails, I received a lovely swatch pack from a new-to-me brand called Flirtin‘.  They have released six new polishes today and I have three of them to show you.  Here is the (partial) Ice Kissed Collection:

OMG, you purple lovers are gonna just die over this.  Do not lick your screen cuz there are judgy people all around you.  Not everyone appreciates good nail porn, which a) makes me question what kind of world do we live in, and b) I assume society must be on the verge of extinction then.  So lock yourself in a bathroom stall to read this blog, just to be safe, is what I’m saying.

According to Sham, creator of Flirtin’, the Ice Kissed Collection celebrates the colors of winter created by the shades of water, ice and snow.

“The wintery fresh collection represents windy nights, flurry days, and subzero temperatures. The collection compromises the key components which are most memorable about winter, braving the elements and scenic landscapes. These shades prove winter can also be gorgeous and magical.”

I don’t even like winter, but that description makes me think about it for half a second. Good job, Sham!

Let’s start with Sugar Plums:

Well how pretty is this?!  (Very.)  I’ll be honest and say I was only expecting a normal but pretty polish here. But the blue shimmer got me guys.  It got me good.

This one has a red-toned shimmery purple base packed with lavender holo.  It truly does look like a sugar plum!  Formula is thicker than anticipated but super easy to control.  My photos shows two coats.  And magic.  Clearly, I’ve captured magic.  Ugh.

Under the lamps, that shimmer stands out really well:

And then a macro in case you feel like sitting down and fainting for a second:

Not even joking.  That should do you in pretty good.  Hope you had your smelling salts handy.

Now focus, cuz I nail arted and it didn’t turn out hideous.  Hooray!

I used the christmas tree squiggles from What’s Up Nails to make this simple but impactful design.  And then I matted the whole thing.  I love it!  One of my favorite holiday manis I’ve done this year.

Next up is Nor’easter:

This is Sham’s take on a violent winter storm, with snow, rain and spiraling winds.  That all sounds awful, but the polish is fabulous.  I love me some dark colors, yo.  Get this one on your fingers, stat.

The effect here with all that silvery “stuff” (technical term; I’m soooo good at blogging you guys!) looks like a blizzard against a night sky.  DOES IT NOT?!  

And then you get it under the lamps and it reminds you of icy black pavement.  See:

Yep, Sham killed it with this one.  I don’t even know what the other three polishes are in this collection (yet, as of this writing), but I don’t even care at this point.  I’m buying them.  And so are you.

But look at this macro:

Do you see those surprising blue flecks?  WTF are those then?!  For real, if I had a mic I would’ve dropped it by now and straight up walked out of the room.  Such a cool color.  Want, want and NEED.  That’s your new motto.

More nail art:

Never mind the random cat hair stuck to my pinky.  That’s pretty much me on a daily basis anyhow.  I try to clean myself up for public, but when you force-hold your kitties and carry them around like babies (they looooooooooove it!) (okay, they don’t), you’re bound to have cat hair find you.  I pull them out of my mouth all the time, which is weird, but not completely surprising.

Back to the art – I did pink and blue gradient stamping!  I thought the contrast would look pretty good here.  Plus, had to keep that night sky theme going, hence the star image. Pretty easy, but I’m diggin it.  

Last polish to share is called Nippy:

Look, it’s the color of my lips after sitting in my office for about 10 minutes!  I just need an afghan and some of those heated, fingerless typing gloves and now you know exactly what I look like for 9 hours a day.  Basically grandma status is what I’m saying.  Someone needs to hand me a crochet hook so I can fight off all the boys.  (Obviously.)

This one is a medium sheer blue with a strong violet undertone, and it’s so super pretty on the nail.  It had a thinner formula, and still really good.  And under the lamps, it gets downright ridiculous:

My eyes, my eyes!  I love polishes like this, loaded up with shift.  They practically glow, and this is no exception.  Despite the fact the inspiration behind this polish is subzero temperatures – of which all I can say is NOPE – I truly adore this and want to cover all the surfaces with it.

Finally, here’s the nail art:

I don’t even know what I was attempting here, but I freaking love it!  I did some stamping and then some random swipes with a glitter striper.  Looks a bit like ice, and that wasn’t even my intention, so we’re just gonna call this a SUCCESS and move on.  Hooray!

The round up:

Okay guys, you know what to do.  Click here and go buy these.  Retail cost is $8 which is an excellent price for something so pretty.  I’m headed there now to get the other three I don’t have, and I’m so excited as these are some of my most favorites I’ve gotten this year.  That’s saying a lot cuz y’all know I have no filter on nail polish – I’ve purchased two of the same color in the SAME ORDER before and didn’t even realize it until they both arrived at my house.  In other words, I just throw polish in the cart without even looking.  Cuz I love them all. Want them all.  Need them all.

Well, why be obsessed if you can’t do it properly?

Later, loves!

MDJ Creations: Fairytale Flakies Collection 

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It has been brought to my attention that my incognito naps out in the car during lunch break are not so incognito after all.  And that’s very unfortunate because when you’re up doing nails until 2am on a school night, naps just sort of happen whether you want them to or not.  Hubby told me he was talking about me with one of his friends who mentioned he had seen me napping out in my car:

ME:  Well, did you take up for me?  Did you tell him most of the time I am doing IMPORTANT STUFF and definitely NOT napping?  

HIM:  Like, are you doing squirrel surgery out there or something?  And then fall asleep in the middle of it?  Ooooooh, sorry.  You died.  I mean, I don’t know how to make what you’re doing sound important. 

ME:  Ugh.  Now he thinks I go to my car specifically to nap.  I’m Instagramming!  Sometimes scrolling takes a very long time.  And then I fall asleep on accident.  ON ACCIDENT.  There’s a difference.

HIM:  He said you looked pretty committed to it.

Well, greeeeeaaaaaaat.  It’s one thing to be sleeping with your mouth lolling open around a bunch of strangers on an airplane, but another thing entirely for a co-worker to see you looking your most unattractive.  I know I am an ugly sleeper when I attempt it sitting upright.  Either my mouth hangs wide open or my head falls into my own lap.  And I wake up every 90 seconds to put it back where it belongs before it ends up in my lap once again.  It’s an extremely hideous cycle, and one I prefer to do in private.

So until my job builds me my own personal napping room, I suppose we should just get on with the polish.  I received a nice little swatch pack from MDJ Creations to review, and the gorgeous Fairytale Flakies collection was in it.  See:

Dreamy, right?  Love me some flakies.  They make everything better.  I bet even my napping mouth would look good with flakies on it.

Okay, so about this collection.  It came out back in the summer and now it’s extremely limited.  Some polishes are still available as singles, but some you can only get if you purchase the entire set.   So, no rush or anything, but GO NOW.  Tomorrow may be too late.

You properly panicked now?  Well, you should be.

First up is Jasmine:

Welp, you’re gonna need this one.  It’s turquoise and green and gold and delicious.  You need no other reason.  Except for maybe it’s about to sell out, and now you have a crisis on your hands.  Erlack!

No nail art on this one because I did something hideous and this is a happy blog, so …

Next up is Aurora:

OMG, are you dying?  What a pretty pink; so girly!  But then I added some black stamping, and the contrast is making me weak in the knees.  My brain has stopped holding my mouth closed and there might be a drooling-type scenario in progress.  Ugh.  I love.

Now we have Belle:

Oh so fancy!  But listen, guys.  About this one.  It’s only available if you purchase the entire set; the single polish is sold out.  However, the set is fabulous (Clearly.  You’ve been paying attention right?), and you’ll be thrilled with it, I swear.  And then you can toot your own horn for your wise decision making and get back in pajamas cuz LIFE = SUCCEEDED.

I’m okay with this nail art:

A sideways french tip never hurt anyone.  I think the purple makes the gold look even more gold and extra flakie-y.  It’s truly pretty and you want it so much.  OH YES YOU DO.

Here’s Rapunzel:

Where my purple lovers at, cuz this one has your name alllll over it.  (It does.  I checked.)

Don’t ask about this nail art.  It looked better in my head:

Wellllll, I tried.  It’s sort of a stamped version of the spun sugar technique, which I guess is pretty cool and definitely less messy.  So there’s that.   I just feel like it’s missing something.  I dunno.  I’m not winning any awards any time soon, pretty sure.  Unless it’s for laziness, cuz I’m super good at that.  Like EXPERT level.  I once worked in a building across the street from my apartment, and I still drove my car over there to park in the parking lot.  I’m almost certain that’s the saddest story ever told.

Next up is Happily Ever After:

Now this one is a fun one, cuz it’s a taupe flakie and how many times have you seen a taupe flakie before?  And then there’s this surprise pink mauve shimmer in it, which makes me love it even more.  Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), it’s only available in the full set since the single polish sold out.  Oh well, you were buying the set anyway.

I underestimated the bling: 

Stamping doesn’t show up quite as clear as I’d hoped against that sparkly base, but I’m still diggin it.  I like the red against the taupe, specifically.  It’s an uncommon combo, and I’m gonna go ahead and celebrate like I invented the dang thing.  Hooray!

Next is Cinderella:


This one is a sky blue with soft rainbow flakies, and I don’t know what soft rainbow flakies are, but I’m pretty sure I want them all over my body.

TMI?  Not in this blog!

Lastly, if you do purchase the entire set, you get this lovely lady for free!  Here’s Once Upon a Time:

This one is a sheer pink rainbow with blue shift, marketed as a topper but here I applied three coats on naked nails just to see what it’d do.  You can still see the nail line, but I think it’s lovely.  

The round up:

Every single one of these polishes can either be toppers with one coat or full coverage with 3 coats.  My swatches were all full coverage attempts so you could get an idea of the true color of the polish without interference of any base color.

OMG, who’s the best blogger ever?  (Me, to be clear.)

Let me remind you how quickly you need to move on these.  Click here and get to shoppin’.  In addition to it being an emergency, there’s a coupon code.  Here’s the deets:

Code: CHRISTMASGIFT25 for 25% off plus a free gift (while supplies last).  Leave a message in the notes section on your free gift preference – choice of lip gloss jar, mini polish, mini cuticle oil, or ointment sample.  Minimum purchase of $25 is required.  Coupon expires 12/25.

And now you’re all set for the day.  Buy you some pretties, save you some money, get me a gift card.  Anything else you had planned is moot.

Later, loves!

Glisten & Glow: Experience the Islands Collection and All Dressed Up Duo

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Before you go thinking I have this charmed life full of nail polish, Starbucks and happiness, let it be known that I just got home from work and realized I’ve been wearing my shirt inside out ALL FREAKING DAY LONG.  Like, there was a tag out in full view and everything.  I don’t know whether to be grateful no one noticed or confused by the amount of people who’d let me walk around like a dang hobo for nine hours straight.

Regardless of which, it’s my own fault for trying to wear clothes straight out of the laundry basket instead of hanging them up in the closet like a civilized person.  I just don’t have time to mess with it.  Who’s doing the nails, watching the Netflix and putting the Schnapps in the coffee then?  If I’m doing housework, that’s when my life truly goes to pieces.  So I hold it all together and just buy more underwear. That way, you can still read this blog and I’m basically a hero.  Hooray!

I’ve got more pretties from Glisten & Glow to show you today. I received the 4-piece Experience the Islands collection and the All Dressed Up duo to review – two collections that have been out for a few months, but still available, thank you Baby Jesus.

Let’s talk about Experience the Islands first.  Here they are:

I don’t know about you, but it’s flippin cold here and the sun has done took a vacay.  In other words, hibernation mode is kicking in and if I somehow get out of the house between now and April, it’ll be a straight up Christmas miracle.  If there was ever a more perfect time for some summer nail polish, I’d say one week before winter sounds about right.

First up is Bungee Jump in the Bahamas:

This thing is ridiculous good.  Perfect, smooth, and almost opaque in one coat.  Ultra creamy.  Self-leveling and non-streaky.  Effortless.  I loved everything about it.  It’s a super bright mint that would make an awesome base for some cool beachy nail art.

So naturally I did snowflakes!

It’s the only snow I approve of.

The good thing about these polishes is they stamp really well.  I used the white from the All Dressed Up duo and the fuchsia  one below to do the stamping, and I think it turned out pretty cute.  It’s kind of a rare thing when I feel like I’ve done something successful, so quick! hand me my horn so I can toot it.

Next up is ATV in Aruba:

Welp, I have no words.  This one is the ultimate berry pink and you’re buying it.  What more reason do you need?  NONE.  It’s going in the shopping cart.  The end.  

Same great formula as the last one, although the nail art could be a bit more creative.  However, I stamped using the black polish from the All Dressed Up duo, and that part looks pretty dang good.  And the image is a corset, so although I may be sitting on the couch wearing a pair of crocheted gray footies and an afghan up to my neck, at least my nails are sexy.

Now we have Parasail in Puerto Rico:

Squeeeee!  How pretty is this?  It’s a really bright coral creme that teeters on neon although not neon.  It’s my favorite!  Again with the perfect formula.  I’m not sure what these are made of, but MAGIC comes close.  They’re cheerful, happy little things and I can’t get enough.

I really need the sun to come out.  Ugh.  It’ll never be warm again.

Okay, I stinkin love this.  I got these really cute Quatrefoil line vinyls from Polished Vino and now I wanna go back and buy like a billion more of them and that’s not even a typo.  I adore them that much.  And also, I can’t be normal.

Last polish from the Experience the Islands collection is Snorkel in St. Thomas:

Everyone needs a good turquoise blue, so here you go.  It’s lovely!  For real, guys.  These polishes are all consistently amazing.  Two coats, tops.  Perfect if you’re short on time or just need to get back to couch laying, which is often my case.  I highly recommend them, and so you will buy them cuz I know what is best for you.

Look, I made flowers!  FREEHANDED.  I mean, well obviously, since they’re not the best flowers you’ve ever seen, but hey – I did a THING, so gimme that horn again.  Toot toot!  

The other set I received to review is the All Dressed Up Duo.  Don’t mind my nerdy font fest:


They’re not even joking with these.  Holy moly.  I’m just gonna make this short and sweet.  Creamy.  Opaque.  Amazing.  Want. Neeeeeed.

First up is Little Black Dress:

Ugh.  So good.  And you could totally get away with one coat if you wanted to.  I did two coats like always, but most people have lives and important things to do.  I, on the other hand, could really use a nap right about now.  

The other half of the duo is Wedding Gown White:

White is hard.  A lot of times you get one that is streaky, patchy or takes a crap ton of coats to get opaque.  However, I say this with barely concealed excitement, but SHE. IS. PERFECT.  One coat covers really well and the second coat evens it all out and is completely no fuss.  You gotta get it!  And then you = happiness.

I had zero direction on where I was going with this, which might explain that pointer finger.  However, the longer I look at it the more I love it.  I have no doubt I’ll recreate this design again at some point.

The round up:

Each one of these is amazing.  I’ve said that about 15 times in this blog post, but just in case you still need convincing, let me reiterate.  BUY THESE.  I mean it.  Click here.

Experience the Islands set – $30

All Dressed Up duo – $15

Single polish – $7.50 each

ORRRRRRRR, you can buy both sets thru this listing >>here<< and get free shipping.  We love free!  Free feels good.

And now for real .. about that nap …

Later, loves!

Little Nail Girl: Holiday Vibes Duo

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A Life Lesson in Two Acts:

The Scene – On a road trip.  Wife driving, hands cramping at a consistent 10 and 2.  Husband scrolling Facebook, napping, staring out the window thinking God knows what cuz he has allllll the freaking time in the world while enjoying passenger seat comfort / VIP status.

ACT I

HUSBAND:  I’m not saying it’s an emergency or anything, but I’m gonna have to use the restroom pretty soon.

WIFE:  (picks up half drank bottle of tea from the cup holder)  Really?? Already?  Your bladder is surprisingly tiny for such a large person.

H:  All I’m saying is I won’t be able to make it for 2 hours.

W:  (checks ETA on the GPS)  Oh, well, great cuz we’ll be there in an hour and 42 minutes.  Perfect!

H:  45 minutes then.  I won’t be able to make it past 45 minutes.

Ugh.  Fifteen minutes further down the road, wife stop at the first gas station that involves the least amount of getting off the highway.  Jesus, most assuredly, is smiling down on her.

ACT II

HUSBAND:  Per your strict and somewhat rude instructions, here is your bag of Funyuns and your mocha iced latte.  Thank you for stopping to let me pee.

WIFE:  (handing the Funyuns back to the husband)  Can you open these for me?  I can’t do it while driving.

While holding the bag of Funyuns, the husband proceeds to tell a useless story about the other flavor of Funyuns (New! It’s Steakhouse!) sitting right next to the regular flavor of Funyuns.  And also, CURRENTLY NOT OPENING THE BAG.

W:  Why are you not opening the bag?  Come on, come on! (She is clearly starving to death.)

The husband quickly opens the bag and then an irrational misunderstanding takes place.

W:  (shocked, frightened)  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

H:  (with hand hovering over the opening of the bag, one Funyun dangling cautiously between thumb and forefinger)  Eating a Funyun?

W:  NO, you are NOT eating a Funyun!  (voice starts to wobble in an edge-of-hysteria sort of way)  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

H:  (said matter-of-factly)  You had me open the bag.  It’s a tax, everyone knows that.

W:  I didn’t take a bite of your chocolate ding dong you ate just now.  I didn’t even ask for one.

H:  (again, matter-of-factly)  Well, you didn’t open the bag.

W:  Oh my God.  (frustrated)  You know there aren’t that many Funyuns in a bag of Funyuns.  If you wanted even ONE Funyun, you should’ve gotten your own bag.  We do not share Funyuns.  Never ever ever do we share Funyuns.

H:  (laughing uncontrollably)

W:  You’re laughing, but I’m serious.  Don’t you ever eat out of my bag of Funyuns.  I will cut your arm off.  I will literally karate chop your freaking arm off.  MY Funyuns!  MY FUNYUNS.  Not OUR Funyuns.  There is no such thing as OUR Funyuns.

Wife then continues to eat her Funyuns in perturbed silence, while husband retreats back into the shell of his former self.

About 20 minutes further down the road, husband pulls more ding dong out of the bag on the floor.

W:  What the hell?!  You had ding dong left?  You stole my Funyun AND you didn’t eat all your ding dong?

Moral of the story:  there is no tax on opening someone’s bag of snacks.  You open it and then walk away.  Marriage = saved.

Thank God for nail polish, I always say.  I have the Holiday Vibes duo from Little Nail Girl to show you.  Get excited; they’re pretty!

Gah!  That foil finish!  The flakies!  And that golden shift!  Welp, this is starting out well.

Let’s do It Girl first:

Goodness, I’m already speechless.  You gotta love a red with an extra special something.  The shot under the lamps (bottom left) is plain ridiculous.  It’s the best kind of metallic.  Ultra smooth, two coats.  Perfection.  I dare you to wear this polish and somehow manage to NOT stick your fingers in peoples’ faces.

This macro, though.  If you’re not already convinced, here, lemme help you:

You done died.  For real, you did.

Then I did some nail art.  I tried to make a Christmas tree.  

Meh.  It’s okay.  I kinda like it.  The more I see it, the more I approve.  Sometimes my designs take a few days to fully appreciate. While I was making this, all I could think was how I was about to stamp all the things and I tried so hard to reel it in.  So, on that fact alone, this design is genius.

The other half of the duo is Lucky Charm:

Ooooooh!  Not your traditional Christmas green, so what a fun surprise!  It’s got a bit of aqua in it, plus that gold shift just takes it over the top.  Same smooth formula as the red one, these two are truly made for each other.  If you are a green lover (like me, obsessively so), you’re gonna have to buy this duo.  Sorry, but you have no choice.

You can’t unsee this macro:

Despite the fact this is not my best cuticle work, seeing all that flakie goodness gives me heart eyes times a billion.  Flakies make everything better.  And prettier and skinnier, too, probably.

Here’s nail art:

It’s poinsettia leaves in case I mucked them up beyond recognition.  Nail art is hard sometimes.  Reverse stamping is even harder.  In real life, these nails are like 10 inches thick.  Ooops.

The round up:

Okay, babes.  Get out your credit card and click here.  You’re buying this duo.  It’s only $15 and you know you’ve spent more than that on something stupid you don’t even need, like that poo spray you put in the toilet before you go potty.

And most important, don’t forget I have a discount code to save you money.  Whyyyyyy, now it’s practically free!  Use DSETT (all caps) at check out and get 10% off.  Now aren’t you glad you read all the way to the bottom?

Later, loves!