Monthly Archives: May 2014

Petit Vour | May 2014

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This morning was stupid. I spent an extraordinary amount of time trying to get my liquid eyeliner just perfect. You know how hard that is when aiming for symmetry? I did right eye which was fine. Then left eye had a wonky bit that I was trying to even out. So I had to go back to the right eye to match the thickness of the left eye. Then it went all to hell.

In short, I was late to work. Blah.

In better news, Petit Vour sent me this:

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I love 3 out of 4 products. That’s good stats. Let’s start with the poo and end on a high note. The Harvey Prince Hello perfume. I don’t like perfume. Doesn’t even matter that this perfume captures the scent of summer perfectly. Lemon, grapefruit, floral notes, vanilla. Doesn’t matter that it invokes a feeling of sunshine and happiness. I just don’t care much for perfume. But you might care, so I’m letting you know this smells like blue skies, gentle breezes, and smiling faces. Are you fully informed now? Yes? My job is done.

I was watching a YouTube video no more than 2 minutes before opening this box. One of my gurus was talking about his top 10 must have products. And one of them was the Paula’s Choice C15 Super Booster. I thought to myself, well I need THAT immediately. Cuz that’s how I purchase about 97.83749% of the things I own – by sheer influence.

Anyway, I finish the video then open the box, and would you believe the C15 Super Booster is in there?! Like magic or voodoo. Or conjuring. Whatever the case, I own it now and I’m very excited. Apparently it’s an anti-aging superhero that takes care of brown spots and wrinkles. Plus, reviews are glowing; 4.5 out of 5 stars. Can’t get better than that! Well, I suppose 5 stars would be better, but you know there’s always a ruiner in the bunch that gives it a 3 cuz it costs too much money or something equally as trivial. If it replaces my old face with a new one, the cost is a point rendered moot.

Got a pretty red lipgloss from Aromi. I love red lipgloss. It’s my favorite way to wear red without feeling prostitute-y. The color of this one is very lovely. It’s not sticky, and has a great sweet smell. Bad side is that it gathered in my flakey lip bits. Not sure if it’s Aromi’s formula or if any lipgloss would’ve done that. But regardless, I love the lipgloss and I’ll use it for sure.

Last product is a grapefruit and bergamot hand cream from Deep Steep. This tube is yellow. I love the color yellow. You could be selling slug trail but if you put it in a yellow tube I’d probably buy it. Aside from that the smell is glorious. You know how when you were a kid, and your mama would pour you a bowl of Trix cereal? The smell of that cereal is undeniable. Deep Steep has captured it in this hand cream. Probably not on purpose. But it smells good, so it all worked out.

Short and sweet for your Friday! Enjoy your weekend y’all. I’ll be back tomorrow for more fun stuff!

Love Lula | May 2014

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Back a few months ago while scrolling through Instagram at 3 a.m., I stumbled across a picture of the Love Lula beauty box.  It comes from England.  For one, the internet needs to be shut down in the middle of the night because it becomes a very very dangerous place.  And two, I should stop thinking everything from England is adorable cuz before you know it, I’m buying a pre-paid three months subscription without a second blink.

I’m helpless, not gonna lie.

So here is my very last box:

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Yes, two pictures because I was bathing when I unboxed it and left the packet of lotion on the edge of the tub.  Really shouldn’t multitask.  I did another unboxing in the bath tub last night, and I ended up fishing paper confetti out of the water for about 15 minutes.  Bath time is lazy time; I should know better.

Anyway, the products.  I got some shampoo and conditioner by Swell.  Apparently it’s part of a 3-step system, but I was unaware of what the 3rd step was as they’d only sent 1 and 2.  Why would you leave out the 3rd book in a trilogy?  How are you supposed to know how the story ends?  Who will Katniss choose, Peeta or Gale?  You get my point now.  My life is hanging in the balance now that I’ve shampooed and conditioned but didn’t do whatever else I needed to do in order to complete the circle.

Of course I look it up.  Step 3 is a root nutriet complex.  You spray it on your roots.  I don’t want that.  I’ve had bad luck with root things.  Most specifically in the sticky-up hair, dirty film left behind kind of way.  Maybe this one doesn’t do that, but I can’t be bothered about it now.  I freaked out for nothing.  Oh well.  Carry on.

An itty bitty Jane Iredale lip and cheek stain is next.  These samples are so funny, because if we say sample, by God you get a sample!  But in all honesty, I’ve never been that in love with a lipstick where I feel I need an enormous tube of it.  So I’m perfectly fine with this baby size.  Only problem is if I throw it in my purse, I may never find it again.  As for the color, it’s one of those self-adusting pink shades.  I’m not a huge fan of this style, but I will say this yields the prettiest pink I’ve ever had.  And the texture is very moisturizing and soft.  I like it y’all!

Speaking of teeny tiny samples, look at those two PAI skincare ones.  We’re on a roll now, aren’t we?  Both of these are thick, almost solid consistencies that melt into your hands as you rub them together.  I liked that aspect very much.  The cleanser lasted two rounds – and what can I say about a cleanser other than the texture and its function? – but the day cream is still going strong about five rounds in.  You need a small amount because once it melts it spreads pretty good.  And as the product starts to sink into your skin, it leaves behind a lovely velvet softness.  I think I have about one more use left, which actually makes me a little sad.  As sad as empty moisturizer can make me, that is.  Cuz y’all know how much I love throwing things away.  (Var var much.)

Another one of those boring things: nail polish remover.  This time it’s the Fresh Therapies version.  I got a wipe pouch, and then also a vial of the liquid remover.  The vial did not survive intact on its merry ol’ jaunt from England.  Not to worry, nothing leaked, but it did separate itself from the little booklet it was strapped to, and I couldn’t trouble myself with fixing it for a picture.  Which is why it’s not shown.  Another example of my incredible laziness, as just sitting the vial down next to the wipe packet poses too much of an exertion issue.  No wonder I’ve gained 10 pounds in a year.

Last item is a packet of John Masters Organics body milk in the Blood Orange & Vanilla scent.  Now THIS is the smell I’ve been looking for.  It smells what I imagine Heaven to smell like – orange dreamsicle ice cream.  I actually would have appreciated a deluxe sample of this instead of a one-time-use.  Now if it smelled like anything else un-food-related, I would’ve taken a nap right in front of it.  You see how I operate now?  Here’s an easy equation for you:  Food = good; other = hideous.  Works in almost any situation.

Now that my 3-month subscription is over, I debated on whether to sign up again.  Sadly (well, depending who you ask), I have opted not to.  There was some shipping issues with this box (March never came so they sent it again, but then I got 2 April boxes and still no March), and issues of any kind stress me the ef out.  So I’m gonna end it here.  If that doesn’t prove right there what a responsible human being I am, I don’t know what will.

Let’s celebrate at Sephora!

Boxycharm | May 2014

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Do you know how when you are eating peanut M&Ms, and one rolls out of your fingers on its way to your mouth and you try to catch it about a billion times before it plunges to its sad little death in the exact spot where you keep your dirty high heel bottoms for 9 hours everyday?

Well that happened to me today.  It was the most exercise I’ve gotten in quite awhile.

Anyway, here’s my Boxycharm box:

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Kind of liking it.  I will use everything, so that’s a plus.  Let’s review.

The Illume hand creme has such pretty packaging, and that is primarily the only reason why I love it.  Cuz seriously, if you think about it, hand lotion is kind of boring.  One tube lasts for eons and eons.  So unless you’re a habitual lotion user, you will own this tube for 15 years.  They sent me the Thai Lily scent, and it smells pretty good.  Although I saw on their site they also have a coconut mango – I would have loved that scent more.  Food smells get me everytime.  Floral scents come in second place, and then random inanimate object scents (like Desert Oasis or Cool Breeze – because none of that has a smell) are dead last.  In fact, you will never see me in Yankee Candle buying a pack of Morning Dew tealights.  Because what does morning dew smell like?  Nothing.  It smells like nothing.

One thing I wasn’t particularly thrilled to get was the Ferro Cosmetic pink “Fabuki” brush.  Is that a gimmicky name or am I being an asshole?  Well, regardless, someone in the marketing meeting came up with the genius idea to name this pink Kabuki a Fabuki most likely because it is “fabulous” and everyone needs to know immediately.  Okay, yes, I’m being an asshole.

Having said all that, it is very soft and I will find a use for it.  I applied some powder on my face over the weekend and I liked the texture very much.  Probably won’t announce to my friends that I own a “Fabuki” brush, but whatever.

Got a lipstick from Mirabelle, and it is purple.  Okay, technically it’s more of a magenta, but man is it bright.  I wore it to work last week, and I was very self conscious all day.  The color, although not red, might as well be red.  It is super obvious and verging on prostitute-y.  Can’t say I don’t love it, though, but I’ll probably only pull this one out for special events.  However, can’t say I have very many special events occuring in my life.  So either I’ll own this tube for 15 years (along with the hand lotion), or I’m wearing purple lipstick to your baby shower.

Just sayin.

And now for one of those products you know you need but do not enjoy getting as a gift:  nail polish remover.  They’re like the socks-for-Christmas of the makeup world.  I got mine in the form of Lauren B. Beauty nail wipes.  There really isn’t a whole lot to say here.  They remove your nail polish.  Am I missing any other pertinent info?  Let’s see: they wipe away your nail polish, they get rid of your nail polish, you use them to take off your nail polish.  Yep, covered everything.  Moving right along.

Last item in the box are two pouches of hair conditioning treatment cream from Novex.  They sent me the Argan oil version as well as the olive oil one.  I used the Argan pouch a few days ago because I was feeling like my hair needed a little TLC.  The instructions said to leave this on your hair for 25 minutes using a shower cap.  25 minutes?!  That’s a whole lotta lookin ridiculous if you ask me.  But I was a good kid and did as I was told.  Was it worth it?  Wellllllll … it didn’t make my hair fall out or anything, so that’s always a bonus.  Did I have ultra luxurious supermodel wind machine hair?  Not quite.  Still was frizzy as hell once I dried it.  My hair is stupid.  I give up.

Actually, if I would just stop all the shenanigans and go back to my Carol’s Daughter hair mask instead, everything will work itself out.  Cuz that stuff is legit.

I’m done for now.  Except I just remembered I subscribe to approximately a billion boxes, and I forgot one.   So instead of having just 3 more to review, I now have 4.  Not complaining, but this is hard work guys.  Like SO. HARD.   Let’s do a nap.

Birchbox | May 2014

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It’s always rough to go back to work after a 3-day weekend.  It’s hard to not sleep late, wear pajamas, watch reality tv, eat bean dip on the sofa.  But I pulled through and made it somehow.  My perseverence is quite inspiring.

So here is my Birchbox:

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This box was alright.  Nothing mindblowing, but for $10 I suppose I should just hush.  Let’s just say I’ve had better boxes.  Thankfully, though, they’re not sending me tea packets anymore.  If you are having bad month after bad month, go take a peek at your profile and see if there is something on there that isn’t right.  It will definitely help.

Speaking of profiles, I told Birchbox my hair was wavy.  Which is true.  In its natural state, my hair is wavy.  Or lumpy, if you want to get more accurate.  Wavy sounds way more flowing and luxurious than the reality.  In any case, having wavy hair does not mean I keep it wavy.  I straighten the life out of it.  If I didn’t it would be a lumpy frizzy mess and about zero attractive.  However, Birchbox did not know that, so technically I can’t get pissy cuz they sent me a pouch of Miss Jessie’s Quick Curls spiraling creme.  Re-gifted!  Next.

Another sunscreen.  I suppose it is the season for it, but man it’s just so booooring.  This time I got the Supergoop version.  I threw it in my bathroom drawer along with the Hang Ten I got from Ipsy.  At some point I’ll probably use it.  I just don’t go outside for any extended period of time.  Outside is where sweat, humidity, and mosquitos live.  And sometimes there is green lake water, and I’m not doing that either.  I’ve always been that way though, even from childhood.  I remember going camping with my family where I spent an entire afternoon sitting in my dad’s truck reading a book.  That’s not a typo: an entire afternoon.  I am very good company for myself.

Next item is something I will definitely use, the Smashbox Photo Finish Primer.  They come in different colors depending on your skin issue, but I got the clear one.  It has a very silicone-y texture, goes on very smooth.  Feels a little oily at first, but it disappears pretty quick.  And unless it’s some sort of psychological brain trickery, it very well may be holding down my t-zone oil a bit.  Which is very exciting because now that the weather is warm and humid, I’ve traded my dry patches for oil slicks.  And all the lotions and potions I’ve purchased for dry skin has all been rendered moot.  That’s not an expensive annoyance or anything.  Nope, NOT. AT. ALL.

I’ve always wanted to own something from Laqa & Co., and finally my dreams came true.  Received the Lip Lube crayon in the color Coral.  Description says it’s a sheer lip balm that will fill in your unsightly lines.  Well, if that’s the case, then mine is broken.  In fact, if my lips aren’t positively exfoliated to the nth degree, this lip balm will put a big o’ spotlight right on it.  All my scraggly lip bits on full display.  No thank you.  But I wanted to give it a fair shot today, so I scrubbed my lips last night before bed, and things felt pretty nice this morning.  Applied the lip lube, and I no more than walked out of my bathroom and got into my car when I noticed my lip lube color had already worn away.  I mean sure, it’s sheer, but good lord.  Needless to say, I’m probably not going to be using this much.  However, most people on Birchbox seem to like this thing, so apparently I’m an idiot.

Last product in the box is a body balm by Perlier.  I always get nervous around body butters.  I’ve had good ones like Josie Maran and bad ones like that one Petit Vour sent me that had the texture of glue.  I took a bath last night, and instead of using what I’d been using for the past few weeks, thought I’d take a risk and give this one a shot.  And luckily, it was nice!  Was not sticky, absorbed pretty quick, and had a sweet almond scent that wasn’t delicious or anything, but it certainly wasn’t gross.  I will continue to use this sample, which makes me pretty happy.

We’re rolling now people.  Only 4 box reviews to go and 4 days to do it in.  I’m just gonna go ahead and toot my own horn now, mmm k?

Sample Society | May 2014

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I got you a gift. Something you’ve always wanted.

No, not that. The other thing you’ve always wanted. A Sample Society box review! Who’s your favorite blogger in all the land? Me, that’s who. Takin’ care of you and stuff.

Here’s the goods:

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This is an okay box this month. I don’t love it but I will use 80% of what they sent me. As far as beauty boxes go, that’s considered a success I think.

First item is the Juice Beauty CC Cream. I don’t get too excited about a CC cream sample unless you’re amazing like the It Cosmetics one. This one is not that amazing. I finally got around to putting it on today and it’s just okay. It has a weird smell. And it’s kind of thick. My face feels a little sticky right now. Plus you can still see my freckles. But apart from all that, two thumbs up. Here’s my face: -__-

A warning to anyone who might use the Borghese Gel Delicato makeup remover: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT put it in your eye. Cuz I did the first time I used it and gave myself conjunctivitis, complete with antibiotic drops and steroids. Hooray! On the upside, it removes makeup very very well. On the downside, I didn’t wear eye makeup to work for 4 days straight and my co-workers couldn’t recognize me. I showed everyone my morning face, y’all, and it was scarring for life.

Next product is one I’m very excited to try. It’s an exfoliant by Sonya Dakar called Flash Facial. It has the trifecta: works its magic in 60 seconds (instant gratification, my favorite thing), Gwyneth Paltrow loves it (celebrity endorsement), and the full size is $95 (expensive, therefore amazing, presumably). I will be using this as soon as I’m done with the Blue Plasma exfoliant I’m working on and I’ll report back.

Got an SPF cream by Dermalogica called Dynamic Skin Recovery. It’s a daily moisturizer with SPF 50 in it, so it sounds great. I will be using this next week. My only concern is the description calls it medium-weight and emollient. Hoping it’s not too thick cuz guess how much time I have in the morning to wait around for my SPF to sink in? Zero. ZERO time. So we shall see.

Last item in the box is a Murad T Zone Pure Refining serum. I’m happy to get this cuz my t-zone has been getting oily lately, and I’m hoping this serum can put a stop to that nonsense. And also my pores are like moon craters, so I’d like the serum to fix that as well please. In fact, let’s just switch the whole face out ok? Like for a 25-year-old one. Supermodel, preferably. Thanks.

We’re done! Short and sweet. No worries, friends. There’s oodles and oodles more reviews in store. See you tomorrow!

Lip Factory | May 2014

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The fun never ends people.  Another beauty box review starting now.  Just what you always wanted.  (It is.  Trust me.)

Lip Factory is usually a pretty good box.  Sometimes there’s a poo or two, but generally I like everything I get.  However, this May box is the best I’ve ever received.  Take a look:

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Say whaaaaaa?!?!  I know.  I love it all.  Let’s begin.

I own a gorgeous lipgloss from Medusa’s Makeup, and now I own a pretty eyeshadow.  It’s a very good day.  They sent me a pretty pinkish/red color and at first you may be like, pinkish/red?, but seriously it’s like a lovely pop of color for your outer 1/3 and lower lashline.  Well, this is where I put it at least.  You can do whatever.  It’s not super flashy, so it’s definitely wearable.  I mean, I wore this to work along with a matte lime green on my inner 2/3 and I looked like a spring bouquet come to life.  I’m not gonna lie:  I was purty.  You can see the look on Instagram if you’d like.  (You’d like).

Next great thing is this lovely coral boxed blush from Me Me Me.  It kind of reminds me of the Coralista one by Benefit, but I swatched them both and the Coralista is lighter.  I haven’t officially worn the Me Me Me, but I plan to this weekend.  It’s so beautiful in the box, you almost hate to use it.  Almost.  I haven’t quite reached that status yet, buying makeup for display purposes only.  I’m not saying it’s out of the question or anything.  I just need to increase my annual wages by about triple and then I’m all set.  So, in about 80 years or so. Maybe.

I love the makeup offerings by Teeeze.  Lip Factory is the only box that has ever sent me anything by this company, but I now officially own 5 items and they are all fantastic.  This time I got sent the Golden Glow lipgloss in the shade Roaming Mauve.  It is glorious!  Sheer, but you can still see the color, and the golden sparkle is very apparent and so shiny and lovely.  I can’t even explain properly how pretty this lipgloss is (as evident by the blabbering sentence right before this one).  You’re just going to have to trust me when I say if you come across this lipgloss, do not even think about it.  Buy it.  Immediately and like stat.

I got a lipstick by Pari Beauty, which is a company I’ve never heard of.  The color they sent me was like a coral but with a rose gold mixed in.  I’m trying to figure it out on the website swatches, but none of them look right.  It’s kind of a unique color – I don’t own anything like it at least.  I put it on with black pants, and it didn’t go well, so it’s definitely more for brown pants.  I hope you understand what I mean by that.  All my color coordinating is based off my pants.  Is that weird?  Probably.

Last item in the box is a set of nail wraps by NCLA.  I’ve gotten these before and I really like them.  They are so easy to apply and requires zero drying time because they are stickers.  Whoever invented these things are genius.  I don’t know about you, but I find it incredibly hard to sit still after painting my nails.  In fact, I did my toes the other day and behaved quite well for what I considered a very long time, but probably it was only about 5 minutes.  Slid my toes under my blanket, and that was the end of that scenario.  In my defense, it was cold.  Pulled my foot and out and reviewed the damage.  It was sort of imprinted with blanket pelt.  But you know what?  My toes are so far down there, anyone who notices is obviously in a very inappropriate position and should be ashamed of theirselves.  Case closed.  Toe = not fixed, but who’s looking?  NOBODY.  That’s who.

Til tomorrow lovies!

Ipsy | May 2014

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Hi friends.  Hope you’re ready for a beauty box review today.  I have 8 of them left for the month of May and if I am diligent I can finish them all before the 31st.  That’s my goal.  So we’ll see.

Anyway, here’s what I got in my Ipsy bag:

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It’s a mediocre bag.  Well, the bag itself is very adorable.  I love spring and I love green.  I’ll probably end up keeping it.  But the stuff that’s in it isn’t my first pick.  Sometimes I wish I could curate my own bag.  Just give the list of products to choose from, and I’ll take care of the rest.  I know that Beauty Army does that, but their samples are crap.

I’m never happy.

Anyway, let’s start with the Avene Thermal Spring Water.  Back when I first started getting beauty boxes, Birchbox sent me this product, and I promptly tossed it.  I mean, a can of water, really?  But now that I am slightly more versed in the world of makeup and skincare, I know what I can use this for.  If you don’t know, here’s the list:  after shaving, after removing makeup, on sunburns, after surgery, after sports, during travel, diaper rash or redness of the face.  And it’s bottled in France directly from the source, so it’s completely pure.  Sounds fancy right?  Well, I haven’t used it yet so I’m on the fence about if it’s still just a can of water.  But we’ll see.  I plan to use it as a toner after I cleanse my face and before serum/moisturizer.  I may also take it with me when I do hard labor outside in the 100-degree heat.

Are you laughing?  I am.  I never do hard labor.  I have princess hands.

Next product is the Balanced Guru No Frizz Oil for hair.  I’ve used this a couple of times already, and it does alright.  It’s supposed to take away the frizz in your hair, which I suppose it does for the most part.  I’m not wowed, if you can’t tell.  I just have so many hair oils, like eons and eons worth, that getting a product like this just puts me right to sleep.  I’ll use it but it will be more dutiful than pleasureable.

Speaking of sleeping, how about a tube of Hang Ten SPF 50?  So. Boring.  I know it’s a necessary item to own, but it’s zero fun.  It’s not anything special like my Cotz or Coola.  It’s the plain, classic sunscreen that was forced upon you as a child by your mom (never your dad), enduring a torturous rubdown of arms, legs, and Erlack!, face, while all your friends were splashing unprotectedly in the creek without you.  It’s that kind.  Pass.

One product I wasn’t sure I wanted but now kind of glad I own is the Boo-Boo Cover Up.  I believe it’s marketed primarily as a concealer for scratches, bruises and the like.  But it works great under the eye to cover dark circles.  After all, dark circles are virtually big ugly bruises.  I’ve been using it all week and so far so good.

Last item is an eyeshadow duo from Pacifica.  There were two colors that Ipsy was sending out – a gold/pink and a white/purple.  I was hoping for the purple one because I have only a billion gold varieties, and thankfully that’s what I got.  Wore it the other day, and I will say it is much more pigmented in the pan than on the eyelid.  I built up the color as much as I could, and got a pretty good look out of it, but it did take a little effort.  You know I don’t have time for effort in the mornings.  I spend 30 minutes on my eyeshadow already as it is.  Any longer, and I may as well just call in sick.  So this eyeshadow may be set aside for weekends only.

Alright, I’m finished.  Seven more boxes to review, nine days to do it in.  Can I make it?  We shall see.  Have a good evening!